delayed apologies…

Dear friends,

I am so sorry for the abrupt break I’ve taken in my postings! My life just got too busy and I was having a hard time with my grades, school, work, family, and blogging, so blogging got dropped for awhile so I can function in these other places.  I don’t anticipate being able to write these Lent postings daily, but I’ll check in once a week at the very least.

Life has been great but busy this past week! I’ve been having great success in praying mindfully and giving up a bad habit, which feels good. I also feel quite more content, have gotten better at massage, can do yoga poses that I wasn’t able to before, or I’ve progressed in them, which is super happy for me. 🙂 I completely cleaned out my room (and got rid of THREE black garbage bags worth of stuff out of there!), went to Pike Place market (I’m planning a post on that), have read books, done homework, done a little bit of creative writing, and have had quite a few good talks with my family or friends.

I’m completely blown away with how many blessings  I’ve been given and resources I have available. So so thankful.

It’s been sinking in what’s happening in my life. I’ll (Lord willing) be a Licensed Massage Practitioner at age 19, working in a paid internship for one of the most knowledgeable LMP’s I know. Hopefully this week I’ll be getting a blog going for all of my massage happenings, I’ll keep all of you updated once I do.

Just filled with happiness and hope and gratefulness tonight.

Love,

me

 

wilderness

{day 7 of the Lent adventure}

     Wilderness is a fascinating thing to me. It’s the place I feel God brings me to when I’m so caught up in everything in life that I’m not hearing Him. Or when I don’t want to hear Him. 

  
    He brings to to this complete metaphorical desert, where the only option is for me to look back at Him, peel open my heart, loosen my stiff neck, unclench my white knuckles, and open my ears. 

     The funny thing though, is that the wilderness is nice in a way, not having those distractions. Right now I’m in a busy rich season, with many distractions and things to learn and keep me busy,but I slightly envy at times my friends who say they’re in a wilderness. 
     Also, one week of Lent has gone by. And it’s been more challenging than I expected; I’ve broken each of my resolutions at least once, but am learning to pick up and keep walking. 

silence

{Lent adventure day 6}

It’s a very full thing, silence is. It can hold so much.

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As a massage student, there is a lot of silence while I’m working, broken only by mine and my client’s breathing, and occasionally us checking in with each other.

Silence is the moment of shock when a loved one says it’s over, or asks you to join them on their life journey.

Silence is there staring at the stars while lying in a field next to your best friend.

Silence is on long car rides when you just want to think.

Silence is for contemplating, absorbing, building up, being numb. Analyzing, sneaking, meditating.

In a world full of continual auditory over-stimulation, silence is not often wanted. It is rare. But we need it. We need these pauses to recharge and connect with the important things. To know God and know ourselves, to hear these little voices. It holds on to important details, waiting for us to notice it and let it talk in it’s own non verbal way. The absence of sound that reveals much.

my moon

Tonight I stood outside in the dark and wind, freshly washed bare feet sinking into the grass. My moon was not there because the rain clouds still lingered, and so I said a prayer and decided that I have wind and water entwined very deeply somewhere in my soul. 

gratitude

Day 5 of Lent, and the word is Gratitude.

This is actually a favorite for me, as that is the word that I focused on the most last year. One way that I did so is by making a “Thankful Journal” where I’ve written down little things I’m grateful for, I’m currently at #480.

I’m grateful for…

Hymns. The smell of real leather. Doing new stretches. Sharp scissors. Tide pools. Salt water. Life hacks. Hollandaise sauce. Loyalty, hacky sack, and boundaries. Smiles from a stranger, courtesy waves, people to laugh with, and highlighters.

My piano, green tea in the morning, trials, suishi. Warm hugs, the smell of old books, mugs that fit just right in your hands, cupboards, soap bubbles, hand written letters, and barefoot walking. Learning new things, spending time with my wonderful mother, the feel of soap suds when I’m washing dishes. Freedom, hugs, singing in the car, cool wine glasses, the book of James, God’s timing, and quality poetry.

so so so many things to be grateful for. Reflect on these blessings.

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things empty and joyful

Day 4 of the Lent journey. 

Seeing as how tomorrow is a holiday and today there were festivities, I took the liberty of making today and tomorrow Feast days, and going back to Lent on Monday. 

Today’s word is Empty. The word itself just looks hollow, just as ‘cruel’ looks deformed to me.   

After some deliberation, I’ve decided my word is going to be Joy. It’s something I’ve been learning about in my life, and I think it’ll help to solidify it in my mind to write about it, and possibly bless you, my readers, as I stumble through this learning time. 

examination

Day 3 of Lent:

examination -noun

1.a detailed inspection or investigation.

Scrutiny, inspection, perusal, study, investigation, consideration, analysis, appraisal, evaluation. To look into.

Today I’m examining just why I’m choosing to observe Lent. No one in my family is doing this with me, and as far as I know, neither are my friends. I’m also not catholic.

I’m taking away indulgences for these 40 days leading to Resurrection Day so that I can be more fully aware of my blessings, so that I can see these things that I take for granted. So that I can be more mindful and fully celebrate my Savior’s rising from the grave. So that I can concentrate on going deeper in my prayer and spiritual life without the distractions of social media, which is a greater distraction than I’d like to admit.

Lent is a challenge of self-discipline in my rather indulgent world, seeing if I can stay strong and resist these delicacies and privileges, while growing stronger and heading deeper in my spiritual life.

As far as picking my word/phrase to study during Lent, I’m still praying about it. I’ve had several blow through my mind but none have stuck as of yet.

lent: the journey

This year I’ve decided I want to observe Lent. It technically started yesterday, but I’m joining in today. Better late than never. From what I understand, Lent is a time of denying yourself unnecessary indulgences and reconnecting with God through that time (correct me if I’m wrong, please. )

It’s 40 days long, from February 10 to March 27, and on Sundays you have Feast days, where your fasts are broken for the day, to start again on Monday.

What am I giving up and committing  to do this Lent?

  • I’m giving up checking my social media on my mobile device, and using that time for better things.
  • I’m going to pray mindfully instead of repeated words and phrases.
  • I’m giving up sugar and rich foods totally!
  • I’m also going to do a word/bible study. I don’t know what it is yet though, still praying about that.
  • I have a personal struggle that I’m giving up for these 40 days.
  • I’m also doing a word/photo challenge specifically for Lent, I’ll be posting and blogging about it here and I’ll be striving to be faithful in that.

Keep me accountable!

Today’s photo and word is Journey.

desires

There’s a verse in the Bible that goes, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

At first, this is a super great incentive for praying just to selfishly get what you want and think that you can fool God by being spiritual to get stuff.

But then you start to look at that one part, “take delight in the Lord”, to apply it, to know Him,  and as you do that, the desires of your heart change.

You fall in love with this God of yours. You want to please Him. You want to seek Him. You want His will to be done in your life. You’re blown away by His love and goodness.

You find that the things that you thought you wanted no longer have a place in your heart, and have been replaced by something else, you want to do what God wants.

And it is good.

Praise Him.

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moment #1

•MOMENTS•
I sit perched on the cart container railings outside of world market, savoring dark chocolate with pieces of strawberries and Himalayan pink salt scattered throughout it. I have my shopping beside me, pretty new clothes to wear and a new notebook to fill with colors.
I have decided that this is going to be my year of love and the arts.

This year I’m going to learn how to water color. I’m going to learn how to make really good sourdough and kombucha. I’m going to improve my writing and learn as much as I can about massage and understanding how the body works. I’m going to appreciate the little things and love on my loved ones. Do small things with great love, that is my goal this year. I want to write out my beliefs and why I believe them, and then in ten years I’ll look back and see if and how they’ve changed.

January was a time of thinking up what I wanted to do this year, making my choices and getting rid of ones that I didn’t like. February is my time to make them real and begin them.

Mom and the kids roll up in the car, and my reverie ends.