brought out

So, I’ve actually started quite a few blogs, and I literally just “refound”, if you will, one of the ones I had last year.   I still like it, so you all get to see it today. 🙂


Lately I’ve been thinking about beauty. I’ve been seeing posts and tweets and pins about this, and normally I don’t pay much attention to them, but as of late they caught my eye and got me thinking about this subject in more depth. I noticed that much, if not all, of what I saw labeled as beautiful was flawless, photoshopped, artificially enhanced. Altered. Which I’m not saying is bad, I love editing pictures and appreciate perfection and aesthetics.
But it made me think of beauty that normally isn’t recognized; the painful, the small, the overlooked type. The melancholy sort of beauty.

Don’t get me wrong; I love the happy beauty; the perfect symmetry of someone’s face and a flawless smile, a perfectly arranged bouquet, photoshopped eyes that are absolutely breathtaking, a textbook perfect moment, but I also love the other types of beautiful things.

The beauty of holding someone as they cry, seeing their tear stained face, and all of their emotions churning just below the surface of their reddened and moist eyes. The rawness. The realness. When someone trusts you enough to pour out all of the ugly problems and messes in their life, that is also beauty, just a different type. Little flowers growing on top of boulders. Patterns in the mud, an imperfect smile, a homely face but a beautiful soul. Crooked teeth, large noses, lips that are “too big”, different shades of skin, eyes that aren’t symmetrical. People rambling on and on about completely random things, vulnerability, shiny glints in granite, vocal and “clumsy” prayers that are completely honest and open. These are beautiful.

Weakness, there’s just something alluring about it.Watching someone break and realize that they can’t do it alone and that they need to lean on their Savior. Brokenness.
Emotional goodbyes. Sadness. Even though it stinks, it still shows you that you can care and feel, that you’re alive. Abandoned houses, broken windows, peeling paint. Imperfectly sanded objects and ripped jeans from being on your knees. Calloused hands. Graveyards with crumbling memories and strong
emotions. Scars, they show that you’ve overcome. Worn and broken books, specifically Bibles, coffee stains and taped pages. An open manifestation of grief. The moment when you honestly don’t care what people will think and worship and pray with wild abandon. The hard times that shape your story and mold you into who you are.

Missing friends, the heartache that is evidence that you care. Broken down cars by the side of the road with windows smashed in and glass glittering, fallen trees that were once majestic but are now giving back, muddy riverbeds, swamps with all of their secrets, when a fictional character dies and your heart goes through an emotional blender. Piles of leaves gathered up like old memories, chipped teacups, and gruff voices. Finding bones in the woods, cleansing tears, shattered mirrors.

I love those happy, perfect moments and people, but I also love this melancholy beauty. I like imperfection and odd things as much as I do perfection; being different makes you irreplaceable, and so often we’re told to be the same as everyone else. But rawness is intriguing. Such a mystery.  I love it. So wild and imperfect, and yet it is perfect in it’s imperfection, and I’m grateful.


beauty blogger tag

I’ve been tagged by  Little Bits of Heaven for the beauty blogger tag!

The Rules are:
-Tag the blogger who nominated you
-Answer the questions
-Come up with 10 questions of your own
-Nominate 5 other bloggers, and don’t forget to tell them! (That last rule I’m breaking, as I don’t know very many bloggers who would be interested in this)

My 10 answers to the questions I was asked are below…

1.) As a child, who was the first person you can remember looking at and thinking they were beautiful?
     My mother! Which is cliche, but she literally is one of the most beautiful people I know both inward and out. I remember looking at billboard advertisements of photoshopped women and thinking that they were pretty, but I never thought they were beautiful. I’ve never liked fake things…

2.) Who in your life do you consider to be beautiful now and Why?
     Haha, still my mother. 😉 I have many many many friends who I consider beautiful, some inwardly, some outwardly, some both. The ones that have inward beauty seem to have enhanced outward beauty as well; personality really does more for me than perfect looks.

3.) Do you have a special memory that makes you feel beautiful?
     I have a few; there was a ball held for a friends 18th birthday party, and I got to wear this huge light blue ballgown (I called it my princess dress, it’s so perfect) and get dolled up and curl my really long hair, it was glorious. Basically anytime I felt really confident; it’s less of a specific moment in my life, more of specific seasons in my life.

4.) When was the last time you were told you’re beautiful?
     Last week?

5.) What is your favorite color?

Blue! My eyes, the ocean, the sky, and mountains when you look at them from far away are all this color, and those are also some of my favorite things.I’ve loved it for as long as I can remember.

Plus I also look fabulous in blue (haha) and it makes up a large part of my closet..

6.) Do you own a set of dangly earrings?

Haaahaha, I own many. I made my own jewelry for a long time and still do every so often, and I fell in love with long and dangly earrings.

7.) Do you prefer Chapstick or lipgloss and why?

Chapstick/lipbalm over lipgloss. I don’t like how lip gloss makes my lips feel; it’s too greasy and slimy and I feel like it doesn’t get absorbed by my skin.

8.) Have you ever permed your lovely locks?

Nope. My hair is over 30″ long, I’ve heard it’ll damage your hair, I like my natural texture, and my mom tried it once and said she looked like a french poodle, so I’ve never even been tempted. I have colored my hair before though.

9.) Do you think social media is a negative influence on younger generations when it comes to how they define beauty and why?

I think it very definitely can be. Nowadays there seems to be two groups of people online: the body shamers/unrealistic models/photoshoppers, and more recently the “real women”/no editing movement of people trying to promote positive body image. It really depends where you spend your time online, but overall I think that it really can harm the younger generation if they aren’t careful and don’t have wise people in their life who help them discern.

10.) If you could wear a ball gown for one night, where would you go and who would you be with?
Where? Pretty much anywhere my friends would be, and we’d all dress up and dance and talk into the wee hours of the night. We actually have a friend who puts on formal balls for our church, and I thoroughly enjoy it. Who I would go with? Friends!

My nominee? Adventures of Grace

My 10 questions for you!

1.)What is your favorite color?

2.) Do you think that coloring hair in bright/colorful colors (bright pink, rainbow, etc.) is neat or not? Would you ever color your hair like that?

3.) Where’s your happy place?

4.) Hobbies?

5.)Have a night out or evening in?

6.) If money was no object, what would you do all day?

7.) What does your perfect day look like?

8.) What makes someone beautiful to you?

9.)If you could bring one musician back from the dead, who would it be and why?

10.)If you had to choose to live without one of your five senses, which one would you give up?

They’re super duper random, but I’m curious… 😉

Adventures of the frazzled poet

These past few days have been hard. 

Combine disappointment with long work shifts, trying to catch up in a class that I had to miss the first week of, my first college math class (as someone who really struggles with math), rampant emotions due to hormones, homework for three other classes, and you get a very frazzled little poet who’s learning how to adult. 

Last night I got over whelmed, and woke up the same this morning, but then I read my Bible. And I talked to God. It was comforting. 

There are not “bad days”, per se, just hard ones. 

The plus sides of this?

  1. I’ve gotten back into a time management mindset. Time is valuable, I have many things to  do with only so much time to do so. 
  2. It has shocked me into getting back into my bible study and more prayer (haha). 
  3. I understand math a tiny bit more. 
  4. My procrastinating brain has thought up lots of poetry. 

Just my five bits for today. 


almost endings and new roads

i have only 21 days until i’m in my last year of “teenagerhood”; 19.

It’s kind of scary in a way to me; I’ve always viewed 19 as that age in between childhood and formal adult-ish hood, and almost all of my friends have had something huge happen in their 19th year. I’m excited and apprehensive at the same time. On new years i sat in my room rereading journals from the past year, breathless to see 2016 and also terrified of entering this new year.  I love new adventures and doing new things, but I’m also scared of that first plunge to do so.

It’ll be good though. I’m excited for this year.


Also, I’ve almost finished my first moleskine journal (journal/notebook #68), and have gotten a new one to start on my birthday. That is of no importance to you readers but is simply a little fact about yours truly. 🙂 I think by writing things down, so then the thoughts are tangible and I can analyze, look at, and interpret them. Plus it’s always lovely to look back at them and see all of the memories and previous thought processes.

Turning back to the title of this post, I drove new roads this month! I got to drive down to Cannon Beach, Oregon for the first time and visit some friends. Between the 3 1/2 hour drive (new roads that I’d never driven before!!), the ocean, meeting new people, visiting with old friends, seeing new places, and the ocean and sky and beautiful Oregon coffee… my soul was quite happy.




My apologizes for the crummy picture quality; my ipod camera is blind and my DSLR is having issues at the moment.