my nonbiological sister is doing well
smashing her goals
getting closer to her Savior
worshiping from her heart
dancing to glorify him
getting things i have wanted
and i feel my heart resenting it.
slithering ugly envy dragging its fingers through my heart
but i don’t have time for that.
because looking at her with a spirit of comparison,
is taking my eyes off of my savior.
of what His plans hold for ME
my time on this earth is the briefest breath
and i don’t have time to compare my life to hers
to want what she has
to be who she is
when there is a wonderful plan laid out for my life,
full of blessings and traits He has designed for me,
we’re on the same team, so why should i be tearing down my sister?
her victories do not mean my defeat,
her worth and growth does not negate my own
i do not have time for this envy game,
this tear down train,
this feeling of shame that i’m not all that she is, listening to lies that i have to be able to measure up to the standard she’s been given in order to be loved and different,
when i see my sister doing well, living well, crushing her goals, walking closely with her Savior,
i will cheer for her, cry with her, walk with her, admire her, praise with her,
but i will not be bitter. i will not resent her over the petty stupid facts that i do not
look like her,
walk like her,
get attention like her,
worship like her
speak like her.
because i’m not made to be her.
i will not take my eyes from my savior and His plan for me to spend it in envy over what He is doing in one of His other beautiful creations.
i will not side-eye my sibling to see if she’s “ahead” of me, i will link my arm with hers and help her walk to the best of my ability to Him and His glory,
whether she knows about it or not.