I’m sitting on my bed, staring at the keys. I have various books, notebooks, papers, and plants spread all around me. I have words, but I don’t know how to say them. I’m rediscovering my writing style, because I slacked off on my writing for a time, so excuse the awkwardness and lack of direction as I sort through the mental ball of wire that is currently my thought process.
First of all, God has been working on my heart and who I am in pretty big ways that I did not see coming these past two weeks. He is so, so good, and I can’t believe that we can actually talk directly to Him.
What have I been learning?
God’s timing and will is FAR better than my own. I had an experience a few years ago that actually forms a pretty significant part of my testimony. It taught me and really laid the foundation for believing that God has a plan for everything that happens, it’s His will, I can’t mess His will up. In His timing He will restore things and make them beautiful, and give us peace with it. Hard things are part of growth. Seeing how He orchestrated that first event, and then being able to have that assurance and peace in trusting Him in recent events has been really huge. It’s a calm peace, trusting Him isn’t as hard as I once thought it was.
Fear is a choice. In Christ, you are free from that. You only have fear if you choose to pick it up.
When I was younger, I never understood what people meant when they said they could hear from God. The ‘Still small voice’. I’d ask my mom what He sounded like, how I’d know it was Him, what if He never talks to me, what if I don’t realize it’s Him? But I’ve heard from Him. It’s different that what I expected when I was younger, but it’s unmistakable and beautiful. Often it’s a thought that gets stuck in my mind and won’t go away, that gets unknowingly confirmed by other people, or in the word. Sometimes it’s in other ways, more or less direct, but when I’m actually listening for Him and not trying to shut Him out I can hear much more clearly. And I’m grateful.
Being confident in prayers. Claiming prayers. He gives us promises and it’s ok for us to remind Him. Not to pray and then doubt or not expect Him to actually do it. Ya gotta have faith, prepare for what you prayed for. If it’s not His plan He’ll show you.
To obey God is the best thing. It will be blessed, He is a God that rewards, and you can claim and trust in your blessing.
I have more of a people pleasing tendency than I thought, but really only with the people close to me. Not everyone I love will understand or agree with my actions or what God has asked me to do, and that’s ok. What matters is obedience.
The little things you do, the little disciplines, make a HUGE difference and set your course. The little choices in your life, the little habits, they all add up. It’ll make ya or break ya.
Reject that sin. God is better.
When in doubt, don’t open your mouth.
Right now, I don’t know where I’m headed, I’m a blank canvas that doesn’t know what type of paint is about to be added. And that’s completely ok. He’ll open the doors and give direction in His timing. I’m content in that.